So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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