in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
