is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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