Why are handjobs necessary in class?
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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