I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize