Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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