i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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