It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Watching her eat just hurts me
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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