Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
is it fun? or sober?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
