I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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