whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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