: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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