i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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