my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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