Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
