how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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