Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
