my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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