Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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