Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
