Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize