Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
