Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
As shirtless as possible
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize