So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
