Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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