...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
