I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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