We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
