Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
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Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
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got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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