i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
