is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
