i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
