she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
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