Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
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I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
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I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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