I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
so explain again why im purple
no
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
