oh fat girl friday strikes again...
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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