i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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