life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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