I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Boobs speak an international language.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize