So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
