We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
This house was built for laser tag.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
