Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
