Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
