Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
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why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
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I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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