yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
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