I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
