Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
