It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
