We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
