Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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