i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
