is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
