She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
