ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
