Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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