I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
