He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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