she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
And then my night got REAL pukey
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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