I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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