Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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