so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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