Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
