All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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