Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
